You know, that time of year where you look in the mirror and think, "Holy shart on a shart-stick. Who is that? Where has the year gone? What have I been eating? When was the last time I worked out? What is that congregation of flub doing around my upper thighs?"
We're coming up on holiday-season, and you know what my body is saying?
"Hey, Kelsie. Eat the cookie. Let's store up some fat for the winter. It'll keep you nice and warm... you can hide it under lumpy sweaters and work it off once spring comes... Eh? Eh eh eh?"
"AW, HELL NAW."
And, true to form... I have a plan.
The Plan's Name: Clean 'til Christmas
The Plan's time: 8 weeks, and/or forever.
The Plan's Purpose:
- to fend off excess "girth" between now and the holidays (and hopefully during and after, to boot).
- to test something I've been curious about for a while: "Clean Eating."
- to drive my family crazy (just kidding. No, but seriously).
- to have something to obsess about now that my evenings are free.
The Plan's Rules:
- Eat clean (nice and simple. Read about it here).
- Exercise 5x/week. More specifically? Jillian Michaels "Ripped in 30" 4x/week (totally worth the $10), and one day of running, to train for a 5k I'm running in December (The Ugly Sweater Run!).
- Have a cheat meal (with dessert) once. a. week. I'm talking burgers n' fries, fish n' chips, fat n' carbs, CHEAT. MEAL. WITH A CAPITAL C (and a capital every other letter, too).
Simple, right? Three rules. ENDLESS opportunities for learning.
And here's how I'm going to track my progress:
- The Omron Body Composition Monitor: Measures body fat percentage, body mass index, skeletal muscle, resting metabolism, visceral fat, body age, and body weight. Before and after, nothing more, nothing less.
- Pictures: Yikes, pictures. You know, because a picture is worth a thousand words. By this, I mean that I will be posting roughly two-thousand words worth of pictures (before aaaaand, you guessed it! After).
- Measurements: I know... archaic, right? What is this, the friggin' stone ages? But, hey. I have a tape measure and some free time, so... why not?
- FEELINGS: Yeah, I know, feelings... ew. But the whole reason for this upheaval is that I have been feeling, for lack of a better phrase, like a pile of day-old dog shart. Need I say more?
Disclaimer: I'm not perfect. I'm probably going to slip up. You know, when you're at your grandma's house and she bakes you cookies and brings you a plate and stares up at you with those sweet, crinkly eyes... what are you supposed to do?! Slap the tray away and run like the wind?! Nah. I'll have a bite or two and slip the rest to my brother (sorry 'bout it, bro).
I'll be posting recipes and progress updates (while hopefully not crying in the candy aisle of Costco... no promises).
If you want to join me, let me know (Shout-out to my girl Natalie! Woot woot!).
Friends, colleagues, arch enemies, acquaintances...
LET'S DO THIS THING.