Clean 'til Christmas - Week 1

So, here's the thing.

This week was a learning experience.

And, by "a learning experience," I mean...

It was thuper duper rough.

Let's dig deeper, shall we?

Clean 'til Christmas

Well, folks... it's about that time of year again.

You know, that time of year where you look in the mirror and think, "Holy shart on a shart-stick. Who is that? Where has the year gone? What have I been eating? When was the last time I worked out? What is that congregation of flub doing around my upper thighs?"

We're coming up on holiday-season, and you know what my body is saying?

"Hey, Kelsie. Eat the cookie. Let's store up some fat for the winter. It'll keep you nice and warm... you can hide it under lumpy sweaters and work it off once spring comes... Eh? Eh eh eh?"

My rebuttal?

"AW, HELL NAW."

And, true to form... I have a plan.

Chocolate Chip Breakfast Biscuits

Once upon a time, Kelsie came across a really grotesque recipe for chocolate chip cookies. This recipe, in all its artery-clogging glory, contained gads of sugar, oodles of oils, and just a freaking ton of other horrifying ingredients that should never come near the human body.

Kelsie, being a total wizard (Gryffindor) in the kitchen, decided to wave her magic wand (11 inches, dragon heartstring, firm yet yielding) and give this recipe a complete makeover.

In other words, Kelsie replaced almost every single ingredient with a healthier ingredient, and, violá! These Chocolate Chip Breakfast Biscuits were born.

Sure beats Cocoa Puffs... (Please don't sue me, General Mills).

MyPlate

You know how they used to have the Food Pyramid?

And then they changed it to MyPyramid, which was a little dude walking up some stairs on the side of a pyramid that was multicolored and made no sense?

Well, now they have MyPlate.

Here she is, in all her glory:

March Madness: the Epic Conclusion

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

No, seriously, I am.

You might want to sit down for this. It's a pretty big deal.

Are you ready? Are you sitting? Have you cleared the area of hot liquids and breakable antiques?

Good.

Because here it is: