Clean 'til Christmas

Well, folks... it's about that time of year again.

You know, that time of year where you look in the mirror and think, "Holy shart on a shart-stick. Who is that? Where has the year gone? What have I been eating? When was the last time I worked out? What is that congregation of flub doing around my upper thighs?"

We're coming up on holiday-season, and you know what my body is saying?

"Hey, Kelsie. Eat the cookie. Let's store up some fat for the winter. It'll keep you nice and warm... you can hide it under lumpy sweaters and work it off once spring comes... Eh? Eh eh eh?"

My rebuttal?

"AW, HELL NAW."

And, true to form... I have a plan.

MyPlate

You know how they used to have the Food Pyramid?

And then they changed it to MyPyramid, which was a little dude walking up some stairs on the side of a pyramid that was multicolored and made no sense?

Well, now they have MyPlate.

Here she is, in all her glory: